Take your time when dating and remember that Men can and will say anything to get you -

   Some of them yes some not all or most but some:

 

To attract women.

     Like Bibles.

     A Bible can be a great chic magnet. Makes even gangsters and car salesmen look safe. Friendly. Trustworthy. Especially if it has his own name engraved on it. Now, I'm not knocking car salesmen and guys who tote Bibles. Most of these guys are legit. But some are merely veneer. Stay clear. You've seen them-the fake Jakes and faux Pauls.

     That's why it's imperative that you not only take Daters Ed but cover yourself with wisdom and accountability. We all have blind spots when it comes to love. When I'm driving, I have to look over my shoulder before switching lanes. Without a rear-view mirror, I may crash and burn.

     So take things slow when you are getting to know a guy. And the same goes for you guys too. I mean, come on.

     Employers check references.

     Banks require collateral.

     Apartments demand a security deposit.

     But singles everywhere hop in a relationship and drive it faster than a Maserati, risking their most valuable possession-their heart. Too many singles assume that everything a potential love interest says is certified but everyone puts their best foot forward in the beginning of a relationship. That's why it is so important to complete an inspection. Evaluating character takes time but one thing is certain-the truth comes out eventually.
Just don't get in a hurry. Slow down. Look over your shoulder and proceed with caution.

 

     If you don't, your passion may go crashing.

 

Prayer: Lord, help me to be cautious when I'm considering new friendships or dating interests. Give me the wisdom to choose companions who love you and follow your ways. I pray that you will send people with whom I can be accountable and who will be direct enough to advise me of character issues that I am oblivious to. Please protect my heart from those who may take advantage of me and are not honest with their intentions. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Actions speak louder then words!

Quotes on life, love, truth and funny things like that found here in this blog

I didn't know how serious Verbal Abuse is:

A master at verbal abuse can damage your self-esteem while, at the same time, appear to care deeply for you. The use of words to punish is a very covert attempt to control and regardless of how loving your spouse may appear to be, verbal abuse is wrong and can be just has harmful as physical abuse.

Protect yourself from abuse

I hope passing along information helps at least one person. Even if me one day.... If you are - or suspect you are - in an abusive relationship, there are steps you can take to help ensure your safety, says McMahon. In a heated situation, stay away from the kitchen - reportedly one of the most common places for domestic violence - where there are too many potential weapons. Also avoid any small rooms, such as bathrooms or closets, where you can be trapped. Call 911 as soon as possible. Get medical help as soon as possible if you've been hit. Take photos of any injuries to yourself or your children. Try to keep a phone with you at all times, and memorize emergency phone numbers (such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE). Set up a system with a trusted neighbor - such as flashing your porch lights on and off - to alert her that you're in danger and you want her to call the police. Keep a small suitcase packed for yourself and your children, with key documents like your Social Security card, health insurance card and driver's license. If you're being stalked, get an unlisted phone number, screen all your calls, and frequently change your driving times, routes and other daily habits. Alert the security officer at your workplace if you think you're in danger. Finally, says McMahon, pay attention to your instincts. "If you're feeling bad about the relationship - even if you don't know why - don't ignore it. Listen to your gut." Domestic Violence and Abuse: The Facts If you wonder whether domestic violence is really a problem, consider these numbers. • Battering. About 572,000 assaults by intimate partners are officially reported each year, and at least 170,000 of these assaults require hospitalization, emergency room care or a doctor's care. • Sexual assault. Every year about 132,000 women in the United States report rape or attempted rape - and more than half of them knew their attackers. Domestic violence experts estimate that many more women are raped but don't report it. Every year, 1.2 million women are forcibly raped by their current or former male partners, some more than once, according to the National Association of Women. • Death. Every day 4 women die in the United States as a result of domestic violence at the hands of their husbands or partners. The number of women who have been murdered by domestic violence is greater than the number of soldiers killed in the Vietnam War. Domestic violence is a grim reality, but you can help protect yourself by watching for early signs of abuse and getting out of an abusive relationship as quickly as possible

Insecurities - Un-healthy for realationships

WHY DO MEN GET JEALOUS? Whatever form a man's jealousy takes, the root cause is always the same: insecurity. There may even be a connection between male jealousy and infidelity, says psychologist Gladeana McMahon. 'Men aren't so sure these days about who they're supposed to be. Should they be the provider, or an equal partner? This uncertainty breeds insecurity and, in turn, jealousy. 'Some jealous men may have problems entering into a monogamous relationship because they find it too scary to commit to one person - what if it goes wrong, or she lets him down?'So these men split their emotions. They can be insanely jealous of their partner, but being unfaithful to her provides, they think, the emotional security of not putting all their relationship eggs in one basket.' _______________________________________WHAT ARE THE WARNING SIGNS?• If he grew up around infidelity. 'If he saw his parents cheating on each other, he may have grown up thinking that's what people do, and be carrying a great deal of mistrust,' says Gladeana.• If he's been cheated on. He may well be asking why he should trust you if he was so badly hurt before.• If he has a poor self-image. If he doesn't believe he's worth much, then he's always going to question why you stay with him - and whether you'll continue to.• If you're more successful or more highly paid than him. A common jealousy trigger, as it strikes at the core of every man's sense of his own status. Glance at any celebrity magazine and it's clear how the relationships between famous women and not-so-famous men have a habit of hurtling towards the rocks, usually amid tales of the man's jealous outbursts. Exhibit A: Jennifer Lopez's short-lived marriage to choreographer Cris Judd, punctuated by tales of the groom's jealous tantrums. ______________________________________Many women misread the signs when entering into a relationship with a jealous man, interpreting his possessive behavior as caring, even romantic. Others may choose to ignore the jealous outbursts, or try to anticipate or avoid the situations which spark them off. This, says Gladeana, is a major mistake. 'You must never back out of dealing with his jealousy in the hope it will go away - it won't,' she says. 'But by learning the right way to tackle it, he'll soon come to know that as soon as he starts suffering pangs, you'll always notice and won't let him get away with it.' ______________________________________HOW TO HANDLE A JEALOUS GUY1. Recognise it as a problem - both of you.2. Make a commitment. Him: that he genuinely wants to change his behavior and will work at it with your help. You: that you won't change your behavior to accommodate his. Never stop doing things to 'keep your partner happy.' He'll just find other things to get jealous about.3. Look for the reasons for the jealousy. It always comes down to an insecurity about one thing or another...but what? Perhaps his self-esteem needs building up - he may not feel, at heart, that he is loveable and his jealousy may be a way of testing this. You need to talk together about how the jealousy manifests itself and discuss how you'll deal with it when it next happens.4. Work out a 'jealousy code'. This is a sign, either a word or a gesture, agreed on and known only to you two, that either of you can use when jealousy is becoming a problem. It acts like a sort of 'time out' in difficult situations and signals for you to help each other.5. Don't pamper him. 'Changing your behavior to try and avoid jealousy is an example of pampering and never cures the problem. What does is encouraging him that he's doing well in trying to deal with it and that you recognise how difficult it is for him,' says Gladeana. Never, ever say that the jealousy is acceptable. Support him, but never collude with him.6. Get help. Jealousy is one of the most frequent problems brought to relationships counselors....

When intamacy turns violent - Warning signs of abuse

When Intimacy Turns Violent Know the early signs of physical, emotional, and verbal abuse to protect yourself from an abusive relationship and domestic violence. Love isn't supposed to hurt, but for too many women, physical and sexual abuse are part of their lives. Domestic violence experts estimate that 2 to 4 million women are battered each year. But domestic violence - an assault by a husband or boyfriend - doesn't always come in the most dramatic, headline-grabbing forms. Emotional and verbal abuse, date rape and more subtle forms of violence happen to women and girls of all ages. Are you - or is your daughter - in a potentially abusive relationship? Recommended Related to Sex & Relationships What Does "For Worse" Look Like? Just ask these five couples whose love passed the ultimate test.... It can happen with a phone call at 4 a.m. It can happen when your doctor says, "I have some bad news...." It can happen a week after your honeymoon, or in the middle of a deadline crunch at work, or on your way to your child's yellow-belt ceremony. Tragedy can hit, hard, anytime. And though it's romantic to think that couples can cling together and weather the storm, the reality... Domestic violence is not about anger, says Michigan psychiatrist Laura McMahon, MD, who teaches young women what behaviors are - and are not - appropriate in a relationship. "Domestic violence is about domination, manipulation and control." And abusive behavior often starts when a couple is just dating, she says. Types of Abuse Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, says Mary Jo Fay, RN, MSN, author of When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong. She explains the different types: Physical abuse includes hitting, punching, strangling, restraining, pushing and slapping. Verbal abuse includes name-calling, shouting and yelling. Emotional abuse includes blaming, accusing and restricting your freedom - like preventing you from using the phone or talking to family members, or recording the mileage on your car to see if you've driven somewhere 'not allowed.' Attempting to confuse you mentally - as in the Hitchcock film "Gaslight" - is another perfect example, says Fay. Sexual abuse is a forced sexual encounter of any type, says Fay. This includes intercourse, inappropriate touching of any kind (even through clothing) and even forced kissing when you don't desire it. Common Abusive Behavior Most women don't leave at the first warning signs of domestic violence, Fay says, because they're afraid to rock the boat or don't have the financial resources and social support to leave. "Because of the controlling nature of abusers," she says, "it's hard for many women to make contact with someone who can help them, or even to have any money." Could you be in an abusive relationship? The Sojourner Truth House, an advocacy organization and shelter for battered women in Wisconsin, provides this list of abusive behaviors. While this list focuses on male partners, in a few cases, a woman could be the abuser in a relationship. He always has to be right Can you voice your own opinions, even if your partner disagrees? Or does he push your ideas aside and insist on being right? Short-tempered Is your partner short-tempered and quick to anger? Does he often slam doors, punch walls or throw things? Does he take out his anger on innocent animals? Uses his physical force Has your partner grabbed or squeezed you so hard you were bruised? Does your partner hold you down or shove, slap, kick or hit you, to get his way? Jealous and possessive Does your partner seem overly jealous or possessive of you? Does he frequently ask where you went, why, and whom you saw? Does he accuse you of things that you didn't do? Fascinated by weapons Does your partner carry a knife, gun or other weapon, or spend a lot of time watching violent films and videos? Heavy drinking or drugs Does your partner often drink heavily or use drugs, and become more hot-tempered when he does? Fast-moving relationships Has your relationship moved faster than you'd like? If your partner displays any of these behaviors, domestic violence experts advise you to leave immediately. "Unfortunately, you can't usually prevent domestic violence," says McMahon, "since most abusers don't feel they have a problem."

Never gets easy

It changes you a little bit every time you either break someone's heart or get your heart broken.

The phone test

He put a code for what he did but I asked yesterday for the phone and he went to hand it over ... I said that's ok Today - i got it and well lets just say numbers saved on the SD not the same showing and videos of porn.

When you hurt me; I try to stop loving you but can't.

Take this knife to my throat, cut me deep and watch me choke. Kiss my cheek and walk away. Then I'll use my last breath to say I still love you.

Brusies are so dark

It's hard to believe that only seven months in he would take it that far. I was scared of him before but now I am so hurt at his words.

I feel like he hates me when he calls me names :(

2-11-2013 at 7 am originally posted